Inspirational?

Thanks to all of you who have called me "an inspiration," "my hero," and other things that make me blush. I certainly did not ask to be put in this position, and I only hope that I can do a little good by telling you all, once again, to "Get your mammograms. Do your self-exams." I know of one person who did that, and caught her cancer early. For that I am grateful.

I am not all that strong. The strangest things set me off. For instance, one of my cousins said she would be "a babbling idiot" in my place. I told her:

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Believe me, I have gone through the babbling idiocy phase, and sometimes am still in it. Like tonight at bell choir. We were playing the bell part for the hymn of praise "This Is the Feast of Victory for Our God." I have been playing the same four bells on that piece for years. They wanted to take a couple away from me to make it easier, but I said I would rather just play what I have been playing. It was hard enough to learn, all those years ago, and now it is almost automatic. Then, I got to thinking, "who will play these bells after I am gone?" I had to leave the room for a bit. It is strange the things that bother one in a time like this.

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As a matter of fact, the thought still chokes me up and makes me teary. There are other thoughts that do the same -- most of them involving Paul and the boys.

I think I had better go now.

P.S. I felt pretty crappy this afternoon. Side effects from the Aredia -- fever, soreness, like that. Not entirely unexpected. I shared my concerns with my oncologist, and they said to take Tylenol and monitor. The fever is much lower, and I went for a walk with Paul. I may actually make it to work tomorrow.