Ruth's musings

I have been dealing with breast cancer for a while, and have been sharing my journey with friends, family, and prayer partners. This blog brings all my updates together in one place, and leaves me free to muse on other parts of my life. Thanks for visiting!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Thoughts for today

I haven't been posting much to my blog, but I have been posting to other people's blogs. Just today I posted something to Leroy Siever's blog. It is a blog about cancer, and I thought I would repeat my posting here:


So, here I am, having "passed" two PET scans, and my cancer marker in my blood test is going down, and I am admiring my new "chemo curls," and then the news about Elizabeth Edwards breaks. The announcer on NPR says that once it is in the bones, there is no cure, only treatment. My recurrance was in my bone. So, do I have a lifetime of cancer treatment ahead of me? Then today, the word comes that the president's press secretary, Tony Snow, has had a recurrance of colon cancer, this time in his liver. Now, my co-worker tells me that her mom, who has been cancer free for a decade, is having a full-body PET scan today, as something suspicious showed up on an MRI of her brain.

Will I get to be an old lady? Will I get to play with my grandchildren? This has been my goal since I was first diagnosed with breast cancer. My eldest son is graduating high school this spring, and he has instructions not to be in a big hurry to present me with grandchildren. Will I get to play with them when they do come?

I was lazy about my breast self-exams, and I found my lump accidentally while sitting on the toilet. By the time I had my mastectomy, I had six positive lymph nodes. I don't know what caused it, but I could have found it sooner. Guilt is something I wrestle with, but my friends who work in the field and my doctor tell me that even women who do the self-exams still sometimes get breast cancer.

I sign off my updates to my friends and family with "Get your mammograms. Do your self-exams." I have one friend who caught her lump early, and did not even have to have chemotherapy. This is why this has happened to me. At least one person has caught her cancer early enough.

I have rambled enough. It is not a good day for me, though I am, for the moment, cancer-free. For that, I am thankful.


I am also thankful that there is at least one person who listened to the advice that I gave but didn't follow myself.

I will say it again:

Get your mammograms. Do your self-exams.





  • At 2:44 PM, Blogger Mary said…

    Ruth, thank you for your comment on my blog about my Mom's mitered squares. I actually have a few things that my mother made (knitted, crocheted, ceramics, crafty stuff) and I do treasure them.

    As I get older, I appreciate them more.

    I just read a few of your blog postings and am very touched by your writings.
    (I couldn't find an email addy for you--that's why I'm writing a comment.)


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